Weight Watchers Wednesday: G to DD

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“I didn’t recognize you from the back or from the side, Tawny. You carry yourself differently now. I remember when you came in August to now, you really do carry yourself differently,” explained my Weight Watchers leader, Leslie.

She ain’t lyin.

I’ve noticed the change in how I carry myself too. I see it in photos that others take of me. I am not saying I have perfect posture or have been completely cured of my body insecurity, but I’ve made progress. And progress is all anyone can ask for, really. I don’t expect perfection this side of heaven… just progress.

There’s many reasons why I am carrying myself differently.

  1. I literally have less weight to carry
  2. My core strength has improved so I can literally carry myself better
  3. I am not afraid of showing off my body
  4. My bra size is down

Let’s expand on number four.

I started growing a chest around age eight. By age ten, I was made fun of for having breasts by boys who would later want to see them (get out of here!). By high school I was a size F (I remember because my friend made fun of me for getting my first F in high school). And then I settled into a G in college.

And then this year happened. This year, for the first time in my weight loss journey of over ten years, my cup size decreased! I am now proud to say I am wearing a DD — something I never thought possible. And even now I could probably go down to a D (here’s hoping!).

Instead of the young girl who hunched over because she hated drawing attention to her self,  I am now a woman who is just excited that my breasts have decreased and I can stand up straight not fearing that I am going to side-swipe a child (again).

Until next week… (or the week after as I am heading to a conference, so most likely the following week).

Weight Watchers Wednesday: a New Decade of Weight

Well, it happened. I have moved into a new “decade” of weight. Hello 170s!

I have finally hit a number that I don’t recall every being in. I remember the 160s when my appendix exploded and I was at 164 for a while until I gained all 40 pounds back (and then some) within a year. I remember 180s because that was the number I finally hit senior year of college — 189 to be exact — when I thought I could just exercise a lot to lose and maintain weight (it lasted a week).

So, when I stood on the scale and saw 179 I had no thoughts. Just surprise! No connection or memory associated with it. I only know it as the number I currently weigh at age 32.

Hello, 170s. Nice to meet you. I hope to not spend so much of my life in this decade, but I will be kind to you as I pass on through.

So where am I at?

  • I’ve lost 36 pounds since August 2017
  • I’ve lost 5.8 inches since February 2018
  • My current goal is to get to 164

That means I have 15 pounds to go. By the way my body has been losing, I will be able to lose it by the end of the year! It’s really exciting. It’s hard to explain the gratitude and excitement that I’ve experienced these last 10 months. To have lived the majority of my life feeling at odds with my body to now feeling like I understand this body God has given me is such a gift.

What else? I am thankful that I am no longer afraid of food or trying on clothes. I am thankful I am able to trust the compliments from others, and more importantly, the good things I say about myself. All of these things are a blessing from God.

I knew when beginning this journey that God was going to do a lot of work in me, but I didn’t realize what all it would encompass. This journey has been filled with pain, dedication, and sacrifice, but it’s also been filled with joy, sweetness, excitement, and love. It’s all of it…the full journey.

And here’s a semi-before and after photo

August 2017


May 2018

Weight Watchers Wednesday: What 10 Months Looks Like

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The other day I was working on a project and I had to go through 2017’s staff photos when I came upon my own face. I stared at it for awhile not recognizing this person. It was me. It was me a week before I started my Weight Watchers Journey.

Yes, the first thing you will notice is that my hair has changed, along with my glasses. That’s obvious. And sure, the 34 pounds of weight missing has definitely made a drastic change. But there’s also something that is missing — my lack of self-confidence.

While I’ve lost weight, I’ve gained self-confidence and inner strength. I have the power to say no to things, to deal with my “ish” and to persevere on this health journey that I didn’t even think I could last a month on!

I honestly attribute all of this to God. I know I would not be where I am without Him. He has sustained me and encouraged me when I thought I didn’t have the strength to say no to ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE. He has revealed to me layers of my brokenness and addictive behaviors and He has been healing them.

I have a ways to go and each day brings new obstacles, but I am so thankful to be where I am. Seeing this photo encourages me that so much can happen in ten months and I am anticipating to see what will happen in the next ten months!


Weight Watchers Wednesday: Crowd Sourcing My Wardrobe

So, I accidentally crowd sourced a new wardrobe last week! I had mentioned how my clothes were no longer fitting me on my Instagram and made the joke that people could Square me some money. Well, be careful what you say on the Internet because some people actually did! I am still stunned by people’s generosity. It was so encouraging and something I really needed. It will forever be one of my favorite stories of my Weight Watchers journey.

So, I went on a shopping spree!

This weekend I went and spent that money (mainly so that I wouldn’t spend it on other things), and I found out I went down to the lowest bra size I’ve been since the beginning of high school! Yes, that long! I am now in a categories of bra that it’s popular enough that they didn’t have the color that I wanted. I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS LIFE?

I also purchased a new cardigan (see photo above) and a new pair of pants (not pictured). I basically purchased wardrobe staples that I’ve needed for work and it’s such a relief. I know it’s super First World Problems to be stressed that I don’t have clothes to wear because I am purposefully losing weight, but it’s a stress nonetheless that is now alleviated.


Until next week!


Weight Watchers Wednesday: 32 Pounds Down

Happy Wednesday! I know I’ve been a bit absent from posting on my Weight Watchers journey the last couple of weeks, and I will explain why more later, but I first wanted to share some good news.

I lost 32 pounds!

And to celebrate here’s a full body shot of me:

So where have I been?

Well, first I was in Nashville. Yes, the home of everything that is not always Weigh Watchers friendly. Like seriously. Why are they against vegetables?

I enjoyed a ton of lattes and unhealthy teas on this trip, along with biscuits and fried food. Suffice it to say, I gained some weight and didn’t feel all that well.

I learned that when I eat crap I feel like crap– first emotionally and then physically. It’s a horrible cycle and I fell into it whilst in Nashville and continued on into it in Chicago. It took another week to get out of the cycle, but I am here — OUT.

So, how does one get out of the cycle?

Well, it’s not a perfect science, but here’s some of my tips.

1. Do not shame or guilt yourself. You have enough of the world telling you what you should or should not do. Be patient and kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.

2. Recognize that we have seasons, phases, and cycles. We have seasons of life — some months have more stresses or more adventures than others. You may not always be able to be as consistent as you want, and that’s okay, it’s a journey. You may need to stop, get lost for a bit, ask for directions, and take a nice sit and drink some lemonade before you continue on your weight loss journey. And that’s normal! Also ladies, we literally have cycles and sometimes those hormones have the ability to do just take over and rebel. So, some months you win and others you lose. And that’s okay!

3. Remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint. My goal is to cross the line in my own time — I am not trying to set a record here. So what that means for me is that I am okay with having a couple of weeks of maintaining or gaining a couple of pounds because I know I will eventually lose the weight, and I’ll be enjoying some lattes along the way while I’m at it.

So, there’s some of my thoughts. What do you think?

It’s Not Wednesday; Related Thoughts on My Weight Loss Experience

Ready for some First World Problems? Honestly, this entire blog is a First World Problem. I have the luxury of being on a diet and eating less food. I have the luxury to donate large amounts of clothes because they don’t fit me. I have the luxury to be excited over purchasing jeans that are the smallest I’ve ever fit into as it’s a good thing that I am losing weight because I am not starving or sick.

With all that said… I wanted to share some thoughts on my weight loss journey. Feel free to read along.

“You know that doesn’t fit you, right?”

A phrase I’ve been hearing quite frequently, which is meant as a compliment, has been “You know that doesn’t fit you, right?” Or maybe it’s, “Tawny, you need new pants…” or “That shirt is too big…” or “Looks like you’re wearing that for the last time…” or “Are you wearing your Harry Potter robes?” (apparently, my dress was too big).

It’s nice that people are noticing that I am losing weight, but it’s also annoying because I don’t have the money to buy more clothes or the desire to shop. So, I decided to go “shop” through my dresser and try on all of my clothes to see what I could fit into. Apparently, not as much as I thought, and with my options limited, I decided to go to Old Navy and use some of my Rewards money to purchase a pair of jeans.

I can fit into what?!

So, with coupons and rewards in hand, I headed into Old Navy with a goal: buy jeans that actually fit. I didn’t think I would hit a milestone. I thought the current jeans I had were just stretched out and surely I didn’t lose that many inches.

I was wrong.

I went down to a 12 pants size! I wasn’t expecting it. When I grabbed a selection of jeans, which were made up of mostly size 14, I decided to throw in a size 12 just to see — how close am I? And to my surprise, I was very close — in fact, a size 12 was a little loose.

Ridiculous Instagram story I did in response…IMG_4212.gif

The last time I recall being this size was over 10 years ago post-appendectomy, and that didn’t even last long because as you know I was overweight for a reason. So, let’s go further back in time…back when little Tawny was in middle school. I remember buying size 13 pants then. So, size 12? What is this nonsense?

I started this Weight Watchers program at a size 16 and now I am 12. I didn’t think I would get here, but I am so thankful I have stuck it out for the last eight months to get here… and I am excited to see where the next eight months will bring me.

Weight Watchers Wednesday: 30 Pounds Down!

It’s been nearly eight months since I began my Weight Watchers journey and I am proud to share that I’ve lost 30 pounds!

I’m shocked. I didn’t think I would be able to get here. I’ve never even been here before! I’ve never lost this much weight save for the appendicitis when I was 19. And to be honest, when I started this journey I didn’t think that I would actually end up here.

Past diets only had me at 10-15 pounds weight loss, but I was never able to keep it off and I would consistently gain it all back — and then some. This time it’s different and it’s exciting.

My goal weight is now only 20 pounds away! It’s the same weight I was after my appendectomy.

So, why this goal?

I want to see what a healthy 164 looks like. For so long when I thought of myself thin I would see that sickly 19-year-old and it did not motivate me. It scared me. Now, I want to rewrite that image in my head. What does a healthy 32-year-old look like at 164?

It’s also been really cool to see the various responses of my friends, coworkers, and peers this past week. The weight loss is now considerable enough that people are taking notice and their compliments are so encouraging and motivating.

I am working hard. I am sacrificing. And it’s showing!

I am proud of what I’ve done so far. But I wouldn’t be at this point in my journey without God. He has sustained me. He has encouraged me. My “why” is about Him. So, I continue on.

As I said before, I have 20 pounds more to go before I hit my next big goal. I need to think of my reward, but until then, I am going to buy a dress from ModCloth because that’s my 30-pound reward.

I am still uncertain of the dress, but so far, I am looking at this one:


Until next time… Happy Wednesday!